


Pretty Pink Hate

by BlossomofFireandRain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dreams, Gen, Memories, memories of Beforus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2013-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-10 21:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/790487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomofFireandRain/pseuds/BlossomofFireandRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What kind of memories from Beforus plague the Condesce?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretty Pink Hate

It's a visage that haunts you.

When you're lax in your recuperacoon, or still in the water around the helsmblock, you see her. When you're sliding from the relaxation of pailing into sleep, she's there. Not all the time, no. Maybe if it was all the time you could put up some form of defense against her, be ready for her, tear her glubbin' head off with one hand, but no, when you're relaxed, when your guards are lowered, that's when she appears. 

Just barely visible, all stately and royal, but so fucking soft looking! Her hair splayed out like yours, tiara glimmering on her brow, she watches you. Always taller than you, bigger, horns disappearing into the fog, looking down on you like "Now why did you do that? Was that really necessary?"

You hate her.

When you see her, you're 6 sweeps old again, just done gutting some land dwellers that tried to kill you, and she's shaking her head at you. Your braids all fucking splattered in blue and indigo, heart racing because someone came after you, _here,_ where you thought you were safest, and she's motherfucking shaking her head at you! 

It makes the hate for her a little worse when she gathers you into her arms and hugs you. You want to sink your claws into her, rip through her rumble spheres straight to her vascular pump, show her what happens when she pulls you close, but instead you're 6 again. 6, and small, shrimpy, not quite into your next growth spurt, and she's so much _bigger than you,_ and _cool like you,_ and she _smells like you,_ but not like you, and _glub!_

You hate her so much.

When she watches you through the mists of your mind while you're with the helmsman, you hate her. You thrust just a little harder, claw a little crueler, try to show her how much bigger you are than her, how much stronger. After all, look what you did with the planet! You rule fucking galaxies! Afterwards you're left alone, torn between trying to show him that you can be kind too, and trying to hunt down the ghost in your memories.

Sometimes you don't see her the same way. Sometimes she's someone you see from a distance, not looking at you, surrounded by adoring crowds and guards, bathed in the light of the alternian moons in a procession, the pink and green only complementing her. You assume it's the alternian moons, but to some degree everything's twisted. There haven't been that many adult trolls on Alternia in many sweeps, a fact you know cause you enforced. You're small in those dreams too, and jealous. She glows at those time, no dead fish eyes to haunt you, no reprimand on her lips, only smiles, and you hate her so much.

When the photos of the new heiress show up on your husktop, you freeze. Your vascular pump tears itself down the middle, cause it's her- but not her. Too young, too small, rumble spheres still only barely bumps under her suit. But she's smiling and glowing like before and you hate her just the same.

If you seek out the helmsman that day for more than pailing, well, he won't tell anyone.

You look at the pictures often, trying to find all the differences, the edges of dissimilarities that you can cling to, but it only gets worse as she grows. The pictures get harder and harder to take, as she gets more and more aware of the spy bugs' presence, and gets better at avoiding them. The more she becomes the same, the more you hate her.

When you hear of disaster on Alternia, while you're so far away, you rush back. You have to have to make it! She can't die! Not before she fights you! She has to live!

When you come back to a dead world, with a dead lover on the side, you're broken for a bit. You go off, seeking a new place to try and grow your home world before you run into the Handmaid of doom. She speaks to you, and one of her last promises before you kill her is that you will get a chance to see the little heiress again.

Whether you'll kill her and paint your block with her blood, or just keep her as a pet to reassure yourself you've won, who knows. You just know she's got a lot of sweeps of dreams to make up for.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at NuclearVampire.tumblr.com


End file.
